Saturday, July 10, 2010

Discipline Update & Freewrite: July 10

I walked today! Shortly before I went to bed I checked my phone and had a voicemail from my dad, who said that he'd like to come walking with me this morning. I texted back and said that I planned to get up around 7:45 and walk at 8 or so, but then I woke up a little after six, so I called and told him I was up, and he and mom came over.

We walked over to the park. Dad did some jogging, while Mom mostly walked with me. I did four of my figure-8 laps. Then we walked home.

Okay. So now I have to write. UGHHHH! I wonder where Puppy is. He isn't in his bed.

I think I want to choreograph "Trashin' the Camp" from Disney's Tarzan. I like the syncopation and the cross-rhythms. Plus it's catchy. It's been running through my head all morning.

I think I could just sit here and listen to that song in my head for the next half-hour. Easily. Fingers on the keys, just imagining music. Maybe this isn't the best time of day to type. I just want to go back to sleep. I'd settle for surfing the web, though. This is just so BORING. (Heck, that's probably why I want to go back to sleep. I'm not actually tired. Just bored because of this stupid stupid STUPID WRITING. Bligh.)

Doooo bop shee do! WOO!

I'm probably lucky to have a hundred and fifty words so far. How much farther, Papa Smurf? PS: definitely NOT going to go see that.

Hey! I hear Puppy feet!

So my head is definitely clear now. I think it's fair to allow meditation as an alternative. If I don't have anything in my brain, I can meditate until something comes in. Then I write until it empties out again. Then I meditate some more. Continue until 750+.

hey, I can do this! WOO!

We have the best puppy in the world. He is a Jack Russell terrier and he is SO CUTE! I pet him. Pet pet pet. What a good puppy! I love how mellow he is. You always hear that Jack Russells are hyper, but he totes isn't. He gets excited when visitors come by and he'll go over all tail-waggy (good movie, btw) and he just loooooves attention, but he won't jump up or bark at them. Of course, if you bend down to pet him, he WILL give you kisses if you let him.

I like the movie Wag the Dog. It's a good movie. Cynical. But definitely interesting.

Tired now. My arms are tired. Even my fingers are tired. So tired. Tired tired.

Can't think beyond having that song stuck in my head. Fortunately it's a song I like. I don't think song-thinking counts as meditation, though.

Word count check time!

471. Almost halfway.

Almost halfway? That's all? This sucks! It's only day two and I feel like I'm torturing myself with time that could be spent other ways! I could be googling different types of reconstructive surgery, but noooo. I have to WRITE. BLEAUGH.

Writing sucks! I hate writing! (Can I just like copy-paste that another hundred times or something? Stupid rassum frassum...)

I wish there was some way to get myself to enjoy this instead of loathing it. Because I do. I loathe this SO MUCH. Hell, I bet I loathe writing more than my students do. At least I don't stick THEM with seven hundred fifty words every day. Why am I so mean to myself?!

I like VEGETABLES more than I like writing! UGH! I HATE THIS! I feel like I'm a teenager in a sitcom, and writing is my parent. Let's turn up the drama - whee!

I HATE THIS! YOU STUPID WRITING! (Tangent: Let's go to caps lock - my left pinky is getting tired from holding down the shift key.)


Should that be YOUR RUINING MY LIFE, do you think?

blah blah blah. My knuckles are soooore. This may be the stupidest thing I've ever done. Hm. Let's think about that. I certainly can't think of anything stupider. Well, okay. Maybe not the stupidest thing... I lose things a lot... but I think it probably is the stupidest thing I've ever CHOSEN to do. How's that?

How about stupider than cutting my own hair before church on Sunday morning? Yeah. It's definitely stupider than that. (That didn't turn out so bad, though. I wound up with a cute little wavyish mop.)

Stupider than .... oo! Stupider than leaving CDs in the stereo's changer when I picked it up to move it to a different room and having them get stuck. I think so. I was pretty mad about that.

I think part of the stupid is ... most of the stupid things I've done, I mean the REALLY stupid things, it's stuff that I go, "hm, maybe this isn't the best idea. But... eh, it'll probably be okay." And then... no. Or, oo, another good one: "I wonder what would happen if I..."

Let me just say that a large enough mirror WILL have some flexibility. Note: SOME. Not much...

Please let me be at 750!



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